If you have feelings for your roommate what you do?

I grew up in Los Angeles that a copy of my head with my head and a copy of Romeo and Juliet and crying. I made this book very very interesting and believed to believe that soon. Spirit friend was not just a comment – they promised. I believe in love to indicate the reason and time of the reason, in such a way that turned on the way of your life, the pool moved in every heart.

But in the month of 21, the growth story started to crack. A trimatic experience with a man who believed me I showed my safety and wish. For three years, I got completely away from history. I told people I “focusing to yourself,” which was true in one part, but it was also a shield. I was afraid to be afraid to meet with the requested with the wanted gate I felt like the closed door I didn’t even remember how to open.

Still, no matter what I’ve killed it, I can’t love something I’m very afraid of: love. Real type. Wide, the soul consumer type I had always slept. The kind that feels by the passage of the house.

Then I move at the player at the player at the playfield – a beautiful way can produce. The room four friends, follow each of each of the different dreams, all our dirty controversy, creative and try to make something for something. One of them just came from Australia. I’m still remembering the first time I saw that – Sun, Sun-Star Smile, the movie-Star smile, the movie-Star smile and a voice that makes everything like a love song. Even “Almond Milk Passport” felt from his glaustas from him.

He had a magnetic energetic energy he was already well known to the house, but he started from scratch. This vulnerable, mixed with his heart, he imposed impossible to not be notified. I just didn’t inform. I have been broken like a bed to the moon

We started time spending, at the beginning, but then again. Hi Passs via Garfith Park, Talk to Started along Coffee and Continue up to 2 in the kitchen. Go through silver gold where our hands just stopped a little longer. He was heardly listened. He remembers the little information that I said in the past. He looked like me I was a story he wanted to slow down.

And in the middle of all, I started the feeling of this – it’s soft, flatto buttons breathe around him. The type of feeling that I thought I will lose forever. I will see myself to see the star, not trying to hide it. My heart will do this little skip when he laughed my jokes or laughing too long to me. I wonder: Is it? Can he be someone?

I can’t even see more guys. He was fighting his radar. Every song mentioned. My mind has been raised before, imagine the future that is not even available – the silent morning, long walk events even the Australia has returned to Australia. It was completely unaware and felt to feel indirectly.

One night, we were sitting in the bed after everyone else. A movie gently played in the background, something is not really seen. There was a long silence – no strange, only complete – and then he turned to me, his eyes search my eyes.

“I am happy,” he said.

I realized my heart is getting up. I’m not moving I don’t breath

He slowly wound, give me to me to see with half truck to see him.

But I can’t. I frozen.

Just before our lips, I get backwardly returned and left.

I’m sorry, “I said, heardly heard.

He closed for a second, then gave me smiling smile. “OK,” he lost the beat without. “” There is no stress, all right? Let’s not just say that was happened. “

And also, we moved. Don’t force any force. There is no stress. He managed it with the grasses that, what, I liked him very much. It felt like a confirmation that he really met – not just conquering someone, but a person who is worth the sick.

But a few days later, flashing lost.

We sat on the back of the afternoon while he noted when he mentioned, with approximately, “something you should tell you.” I have a girlfriend. “

I got blind. “Wait … What?”

“He lives in Germany,” he said. “It’s been a long distance. We’ve been a long distance for some time. It’s a kind of sort of time, but … we still make a technically together.”

Technically.

I dropped down from your chest. My mind suspended to connect points, adjusting every sweet moments below the new light.

I tried to process it, but I was not angry – not yet. Just surprised. Numb. Such something like me, “Thanks like me,” Thank you for telling me, “and I pushed my room.

But so nights started to change.

At first, I thought I was imagine. But after this conversation, energy at home. Almost every night, I will hear new sounds. Laughter. Sometimes insulting the Vesastus in the hall. One night, I spent a girl in the kitchen at the kitchen in the kitchen in the morning. She gently smile. I have not asked questions.

It was sample. Another girl, nearly every night. He will look at their roy or tinder. Beautiful, Crusizatic women, most of the hoping players or models. I never listen to him. He didn’t give up. But it was unhappy – she was riding in something.

And I can’t see.

I had been devastated by me, although I claim him. I’m imagining a future. I believed that he was my spiritual friend. But that was not what was spiritual. The spirit does not treat people like the woods.

Finally, one in the course of quiet night with another, I raised him.

“Hey,” I told me softly. “are you ok?”

He stood up, became a star. Then, with zero redemption, he acknowledged, “I think I have a problem.”

He explained that sex was like a compulsory for him. That he uses it to cope with anxiety, loneliness, this city is prejudice. That they feel better – for a moment. But never for a long time. He looked at me, his eyes.

“I am trying to get on her hand,” he said. “But it’s hard.”

I sit next to him, silent. Does not judge. Just listening to.

He was not cruel. Just disappeared deeper. In this city one follows something more of the more people they did not remember the name. He wanted to love, just like me. He just didn’t understand how it is safe with it.

I have been comfortable that we didn’t have to the line that I keep a part with myself. But it was also a little last sign. At the moment I have been seriously stopped in Los Angeles in Los Angeles.

I still like this city. I still have the same sticks. Stay long in enough but I no longer come for fantasy, especially not wrap in the pronunciation and Charisma.

Charming, sexually excreted Australian man? He is still my closest friends. We never kiss. We never even talk about it.

Experience of romance is without doubt, but it’s not always very perfect. Spirits show in many forms, and sometimes experiencing your self-dogs or family members or this is true. All love is very love.

The writer is a player and author lives in Los Angeles. He grew up in town, still believe in love (sometimes) and many long drivers take up through a silver lake and lasio lecez.

Of the Looking at the LAntriticians in the LASTRITICICS LOOKING LOOKING LOOKS IN ALL SOULS IN ALL SOULS IN ALL SOULD, and we want to hear your true story. We pay $ 400 for the published article. email address [email protected]. You can find the submission instructions over here. You can find past columns over here.